I grew up feeling loved and cherished by my family. When I was about 8 or 9 my mom married my stepfather. He was an alcoholic and abusive. But, at least, he was there and my biological father was not. I was constantly disappointed while waiting for my dad to show up and spend time with me but he almost always let me down.
Eventually, I became angry, defiant and a violent child and my mother felt she couldn’t handle me anymore. She passed me off to several different family members before finally leaving me with Social Services. In group homes, I met more hurt and angry kids just like me. Step by step I journeyed towards chaos.
At age 12 I was placed in a youth detention centre after getting in trouble with the law. It was there that I met Jesus. There was a pastor that worked at the detention centre and every Sunday she did something special for the youth. She would bring a group of volunteers from local churches who would come and hang out with us, play games and shared their lives with us. At first I just went for the juice and cookies but eventually it became my favourite day of the week. It was there I learned about Jesus and finally confessed I was a sinner and asked God to forgive me.
My life didn’t immediately get better and I continued to make mistakes, get in trouble and end up in jail. Each time I was in jail I would recommit my life to God, follow him and spend time with him, but every time I got out I would fall back into my old ways.
My most recent arrest came after I hit rock bottom and became addicted to drugs. Feeling like I would never get “better” I decided to end my life. My attempt to jump off a bridge was foiled by a police officer who grabbed me just before I jumped. While putting hand cuffs on me he told me God loved me and would never leave me. When I thought about that event later in jail, I realized how true it was.
I am grateful for how God has chosen me to be His blameless child redeemed by Jesus.